addendum

to: success, gratia Dei

I looked at the comments and realized I needed to clarify a few things:

“Why must ‘woman’ always take a dative?”
Proverbs 31 is great, except I’m not a wife. I think I’ve done a decent job at being a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend. Probably my parents and siblings and friends are the best judge of that, respectively, but I think it’s fair to say that I haven’t done a horrible job. But I wanted to learn how to be a good woman.

I suspected C&A was right about X being especially feminine because C&A has always struck me as very masculine (he doesn’t play football, by the way). C&A has a good head on his shoulders and I can pretty much trust what he says.

As far as I know I’m not boyfriend-hunting. I don’t think I am.

I’ve been talking about this to anyone who will listen, and even some people who won’t. And I’ve been looking for common threads and things like--what do prostitutes, homeless women, rich “daddy’s money” women, woman athletes, women who knit, fairy tale women, women in literature, nuns, mothers, etc. all have in common? because that’s something that’s probably ontologically true of women.

Anonymous, you wrote that Augustine and the Bible “very clearly state many such things.” If you happen to look back here and you can point me in a more specific direction, that would be wonderful.

Femininity is not merely in the eye of the beholder. I don’t know if you can really define it, but it’s definitely not merely in the eye of the beholder. “God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). God made us as men or as women.

Now, a man might think “I love women who are athletes” and another man might think “I love women who cook.” Of course different men are going to look for different things in women. But it isn’t the man’s eye that makes the woman feminine--it’s how much she knows she is loved. And the only love we can rely on 100% is God’s love. Even wonderful men fail occasionally. So we have to lean on Christ--as I heard on the radio, lean on Him so far that if he weren’t there, you would fall over.

(For the sake of fairness and accuracy, I’ll include that the reverse is also true: different women like different men, but it isn’t the woman’s eye that makes the man manly. The only love anyone can rely on 100% is God’s love, and even wonderful women fail occasionally.)

You do need to jump outside the box and go on adventures and learn something new--it seems cowardly to me to live a completely safe life. (“Well, if I wanted to have a safe life, I guess I wouldn’t have married a man who studies rocks.” --Betty Armstrong, “The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra”) But whatever risks you take, whatever adventures you go on, however many dirt bikes you crash, wherever your grandpa’s jeep or your plane tickets take you, remember this: you are a warrior princess, one who totally and completely captivates your Savior. Strong. Fierce. Loyal. Kind. Beautiful. Captivating.

Judith is my hero.