unexpectations

It's sort of a weird experiment in humility, and I didn't expect that. I feel like I'm playing with fire and making things up as I go along. "Welcome to a man's world," a male friend tells me. Funny. I hear that a lot.

little bugger was right

Sometimes running is cowardice and sometimes running is prudence, and sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two. Ignoring red flags is stupidity, but inventing red flags is cowardice. And it may seem that everyone else is diving into the pool, but that doesn't mean you must either dive in or stay out. There is a ladder and the ladder has a railing, and as long as you cling tightly to the hand of your Father in heaven, you can get your feet wet without drowning.

caritas and the best gift I ever got (and am)

So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And fear came upon every soul; and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common; and they sold their possessions and goods and distributed them to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they partook of food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. Acts 2:41-47, RSV-CE.

This morning I wanted to wear Joe's Mancino's shirt, so I put it on. Wearing it, I wanted to see how little of my own clothing I could wear today. I've got on Anne's running shoes, Paul's scout socks, Emily's jeans, Anne's belt-ish-thing, Joe's painted Mancino's shirt, Anne's earrings (not quite matching), my mom's hoodie, and my dad's orange hat. Near last-minute, I switched my undershirt for one of Anne's, then kicked around my pile of gloves to see whose I had. Halfway to Mauck, I realized the mittens I usually wear are either Emily's or Joe's.

I thought about carrying my things in the purple Wilson bag today, but I'd lent it to [G] for the semester. The bag used to be Emily's, and she let me take it to Timbers camp after eighth grade, and I don't think I ever gave it back to her. It was in Anne's closet for a while, I think. We've all taken it on trips and to camps.

Originally I typed "my purple Wilson bag" but I erased it and wrote "the" because it isn't really my bag, or Emily's bag, or Anne's bag. Possession of the bag is so fluid it doesn't really matter. The only thing preventing Anne from using it is a two-hour drive, and, well, Emily lives rather farther away and has her own nifty red suitcases. But I really have no attachment to it that would prevent them from having it. (That "having" is closer to "holding" than "owning.")

I suspect this is pretty close to what the early church did with their possessions. I don't think their idea of charity was "I own X, and you don't own X, and you need X, so I will give you my X so you can own an X." I think their idea of charity--caritas, yes?--was this fluid possession, or lack of possession. This shirt isn't "mine," it's just the shirt that I happen to have paid for and happens to be in my closet, but that's entirely irrelevant. It's a shirt. If you need to put something on, here's a shirt. You're dressing up and you need to look nice; let's look through the closet and see what's in the closet. We aren't even thinking about "my" shirt or "your" shirt but "the" shirt that happens to be there. You can "have" it--the "have" that means "hold" or "use," not the "have" that means "own" or "possess" or "want payment for" or "want back."

If we could all do this consistently, the world would be a better place, but still communism doesn't work.

Well, this isn't communism. Forcing people to share only works as discipline and training for caritas, not a replacement for caritas itself. If it is not free, it is not love.

(Additionally, when you base your institution on atheism, you're going to have very serious problems. Even if you don't believe in God, even a cursory glance at human history will tell you that human nature desires God, and common sense should tell you that that's not a strategic desire to stifle.)

I remember my mom relating to me something she heard from a priest: the best gift you can give your child is another sibling.

Is that true?




Heck yes.

what I learned over break

Jon says I make too many lists.

I forgot I was going to post this - stumbled across it the other day.

• when the hammer slams onto the left side of the lid of the can of polyurethane, the right side of the lid pops up
• polyurethane leaks through cardboard
• nail polish remover and a knife will get most of the polyurethane off the table
• polyurethane obeys the laws of gravity and will be thicker on one side if it's not on a level surface
• it's higher, not lower, on the side the little bubble is on
• if you want the little bubble to go to the middle, put something under the side the little bubble is not on. i think. wait... yeah, that's right
• if the floor is more level than the table and you want the polyurethane to be even, put the piece of wood on the floor, not the table.
• if you put the piece of wood on the floor, it's a good idea to put it in a place where it's not likely to be walked on, e.g., under a desk.
• if the area under the desk is not well-lit, the lamp on top of the desk can be moved under the desk to light up the area under the desk.
• if the lamp is not giving off enough light, the lampshade can be adjusted.
• if the lampshade is resting directly on the lightbulb and you smell something that isn't polyurethane, the lampshade might have a permanent scald mark.
• permanent scald marks can be hidden by turning the lampshade 180 degrees and not telling your mother.
• paint thinner will not ruin jeans, but asking ahead of time was a good idea. a better idea would be not to kneel on the polyurethane in the first place
• when someone tells you to wash the paintbrushes out with paint thinner, they mean to rinse them with paint thinner then rinse them with water, not leave them to soak in the paint thinner for several days
• when you take out the insignia red enamel paint and your dad tells you “be careful,” he doesn’t mean “it won’t come out of your clothing” but “water doesn’t get enamel paint out of anything”
• insignia red enamel paint does indeed come out of the kitchen sink, but I don’t have any idea how.
• “peerless” means “without a peer,” as in, “without equal.” if a pig is called a “peerless sow,” it is less embarrassing to look in the dictionary than to ask your friend who loves his pigs. in fact it will probably be more efficient to look in the dictionary, because your pig-farmer friend will probably assume that “sow” is the part you don’t understand, when of course you do know what a sow is, but don’t know what peerless means.
• JB Weld lasts about six months.
• when you get ridiculous amounts of snow, then a bunch of rain that melts the snow, running in the rain and mist of evaporating snow feels like drowning. treadmills are still worse.
• you don't need to drink to be just as merry as everyone else
• everyone needs to dance

what was missing between lunch and dinner yesterday

I've always thought it a little selfish (and it probably isn't) when men think women's beauty is all about them. Sure, we use our beauty to impress men, but I don't think that's its primary purpose. We want to be beautiful, whether men think we are or not. We were created perfectly beautiful and it's etched into our hearts that beautiful is who we were meant to be. When a mildly-to-severely insecure woman tells her boyfriend "I'm ugly," she isn't saying "you probably don't love me" but "I fail at being who I'm supposed to be. I fail as a woman." The proper response, therefore, is not "I love you even if you're ugly" (i.e., "your failure is okay with me") but "That's utter nonsense. You are totally beautiful" (i.e., "you are not a failure"). If she is thinking that his love for her is riding on her beauty, this is only secondary -- and she is thinking him to be a very shallow man.

I tried to explain this to a male friend yesterday. Hoping to turn an example into an analogy, I asked what he does to impress women. It took him a long time to think of something, but finally he told me about dressing in a way that makes his body look better and not showing pain. I did my best to turn those into analogies, but it didn't work. I brought up strength--flex your biceps to attract women, but the primary purpose of strength is an ability to do things, right? That example didn't seem to sit right with him.

I know why, now. It was a bad question, not aimed appropriately. The correct answer to my question--what do men do to impress women?--was competition.

Elsewhere in the conversation, I tried to explain to him that second place isn't really any less attractive than first place, that there isn't really any difference between a 5:28 and a 5:30 mile. He told me it's ingrained in men's heads that second place is first loser. For some reason, irrelevant to how women see them, they want to be the strongest, the fastest, etc.

I didn't understand it until I made the connection with beauty. I think it's fair to say that men compete (strength, speed, intelligence, whatever it is) to attract women, but that attracting women isn't the primary reason for competing. Similarly, women make ourselves beautiful to attract men, but attracting men isn't the primary reason for our beauty.

I think that makes sense. I'll have to ask him about it.

less organized thoughts from today

I've noticed that men often don't like to give an indication that they've heard, or that they've seen, or that they've been informed. Resulting, women tend to remind men of things they haven't forgotten. Women often complain that men don't listen, and I wonder how much of that is actually not listening and how much is just acting like they're not listening.

I found a list of things I learned over break that I had intended to post. I plan to get around to that today or tomorrow - when I get it sorted out I'll post it.

These dealies are pretty cool. My grandma made them by soldering pieces of glass together, but I don't know where the glass would come from. Smashing bottles is fun, but we'd need different color glass, or paint.

RIP...me?

found here

The funny thing is that I almost went to college in Steubenville.



POSTED: January 10, 2009
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PETRIDES, Mary, 84, of Steubenville, Ohio, died Thursday, January 8, 2009, in Valley Hospice North.

She was born January 20, 1924, in Steubenville, a daughter of the late Michael and Angela Manidou Cottis.

Mary was a very active member of Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church; Philoptochos Society (charter member); Agia Markella Society; Daughters of Penelope; and Chian Society.

Preceding Mary in death were her two brothers, William and Gus Cottis; and two sisters, Gladys Pappas and Argie Therianos.

Mary is survived by her husband of 68 years, Savas "Sam" D. Petrides, whom she married on August 25, 1940; four children, James S. Petrides, and his daughter, Anna Maria; Very Rev. Michael S. Petrides and his wife, Eleni, and their son, Sammy; Angela S. Mahfood and her husband, Dr. Richard, and their children, Anthony (wife Tracy) Mahfood and Maria (husband Nick) Terezis; and Tsambika Cucuras and her husband, Charles, and their daughters, Maria and Evangelia Cucuras; and two great-grandchildren, Ava Tsambika Terezis and Sophia Savas Mahfood.

Friends may call at Dunlope-Shorac Funeral Home on Sunday 1-4 and 6-8 p.m.

On Monday friends may call from 10 a.m. until time of services at 11 a.m. at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church with the Rev. Nicholas Halkias officiating.

Burial in Union Cemetery.

Trisagion services 7 p.m. Sunday.

Memorials may be directed to Holy Trinity Greek Church, 300 S. Fourth Street, Steubenville, OH 43952.

Offer condolences at www.shorac.com

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