a week and a half

Sr. Mary Ann: "Tonight when you're in the chapel, ask Him how much He loves you."

Jesus: "Do not be afraid of what I will show you tonight, for it will set you free."

Mary: "How much do you love me? My brain knows. Tell my heart."

Dream: I gave [G] a hug and said "Thank you for being such a good friend."

Morning: Swollen jaw, bloody nose.

Afternoon: Plans for health center Monday morning.

Monday-Wednesday: Afraid. Exhausted. [G] takes care of me and doesn't take advantage of my weakness.

Wednesday: Home. Afraid. Collegian.

Mary: "If I fall, will you catch me?"

[G]: "Look to Christ. I can't catch you every time. He can."

Mary: "I know he will always catch me. But he can use your arms, if you let him."

Thursday: Surgery. Sedatives.

Friday: Post-op. Toga. Hugs. Antibiotics.

Weekend: Walk. Speak. Listen. Shoulders touching. Humility. Tears.

Monday: Love. Gaping humility. Decision. Poignant peace.

Tuesday: Coffee shop. Collegian party. Physics lab. Pizza.

Mary: "I think I was mad at you for a long time."

[J]: "Yeah, I think I was mad at you, too."

Tuesday: Forgiveness.

Mary: "Can I tell you how we got the water filter?"

[J]: "I think [G]'s on the straight and narrow."

Wednesday: The head realized what the heart knew all along.


"How much do you love me?" I asked Him. "Tell my heart."

Soul emptied with gaping humility, replete now with love.

I have [G], and my gut is satisfied, not nagging at me anymore. And I got [J] back. And I can love wildly without reservation. Crazy men, strong men, wild men, good men, and my soul overflows with love for them both.

"Tell my heart," I told Him, and He filled me till I overflowed.